The Cutting Room Floor
These films will probably (hopefully) never see the light of day. But since you found this page (damn you), you are able to view these trailers, short films and special features which can only be found on this page and NOWHERE else (Andrew desperately hopes). How lucky for you that the web designers take pleasure in exploiting his embarrassing “lesser work.” Enjoy… Or click the back button and forget this page exists.
Trailer for Andrew’s first feature film, made in 1996 when he was eight years old, and shot entirely in the basement of his childhood home in Mauston, Wisconsin. Notice the tasteful use of every single possible transition available, from “star” to “ripple” dissolve, no Final Cut Pro transition went unused! The film itself has been hailed as “the single most influential film of the 90’s” by Andrew’s Mother.* (Though she also thought it was too violent.)
Synopsis: After taking scientifically enhanced “super steroids”, Al Capone escapes from Alcatraz. Wielding a sledgehammer as his only weapon, “Hulk-Capone” goes on a nationwide bank robbing spree wearing a ski mask. Thus, Sledge is born (because of the sledgehammer obviously). Now the legendary prohibition agent, Eliot Ness, must go after him once again. Written, directed, edited, and starring Andrew Napier in the roles of both Al Capone and Eliot Ness. What a pompous little shit.
This “film-noir-parody-short-film” follows a fugitive protagonist named Andrew (what a crazy coincidence) who sort of kidnaps his ex-girlfriend Michelle before she marries another man. Starring Amanda Fuller, Joe Williamson, Ross Alden, and featuring special guest stars Cenk Uygur and Ana Kasparian for absolutely no good reason at all! Despite the film’s fast pace and quick runtime of under 20 minutes, Andrew’s entire family fell asleep within the first 5 minutes and therefore were unable to comment on this stellar work of art. Heartbreakingly, this masterpiece has so far never seen the light of day and it hopefully never will, so enjoy the trailer. This riveting film really leaves the viewer thinking “You’re hopeless Andrew.”
Andrew’s Super Lazy Cop Out “Book Report” For 3rd Grade English Class (1997)
In middle school, to get out of having to write traditional book reports like the rest of his sucker classmates, Andrew somehow convinced his teachers to allow him to instead make video reports. On top of this, for one of them Andrew did the laziest possible thing by literally just reading the back cover description of the book! But due to the editing (at the time considered impressive by a 9-year-old, now with damn technology any 9-year-old could crap out something better than this), silly transitions (once again pulling a Sledge and using almost every single transition available) and mostly because of his adorable little sister Annie, Andrew got an A+ on this project. Seriously, an A+! That is criminal. He should have failed. But in Andrew’s defense, the book Jacob Have I Loved is terrible! Near the end when Andrew says “it’s a really good book,” he was just sucking up for a good grade… and it totally worked. It’s an awful book. At least Andrew thought so at the time, revisiting it now perhaps he may see it in a different light, but revisiting it is something Andrew will not be doing anytime soon. Frighteningly, many years later in 2016, while Andrew was working late one night on a professional editing job for the political documentary series Primaries, he walked into the office kitchen to find a paperback copy of, you guessed it, Jacob Have I loved! He asked around and no one in the office claimed the book or had any idea why it was laying there by the microwave. Was this a sick joke? Was this some kind of message from a higher power? Or was this some kind of Interstellar third act bullshit where Matthew McConaughey is trying to communicate with Andrew from another dimension? We may never know…
Larry’s School Dance (2008)
Freshman year at UW-Madison Andrew had a crush on his art teacher, but she didn’t like him all that much… (and by that we mean not at all). In one single night (emphasis on the one night) he made this short animated film for her as his final project. She hated it. The next day Andrew dropped out of college and the rest is history. Also, If you are wondering why the puking sound effect is so realistic, it’s because Andrew is a method voice actor. One must suffer for their art. LSD is written, directed, & voiced by multi-hyphenate asshat Andrew Napier. Animation by Mikey B. Music by Foster Douglas. Special thanks to Peter… you know who you are.
Spin Cycle (2008)
A quirky vignette of two strangers, a Laundromat and the silent battle that ensues over the last remaining washing machine. A short film Andrew co-directed with Michael Anderson, made independently while the two attended UW-Madison.
American Entrepreneurs (2008)
A short film that documents the 2008 trip of the McKelvey Foundation’s Entrepreneurial Scholarships winners. Andy McKelvey (co-founder of Monster.com, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist - that’s an Avengers reference for those of you who didn’t get it) and his daughter Christine (president of the McKelvey Foundation) initially selected Andrew as one of their scholarship winners in 2007, providing a full ride scholarship for his education at UW-Madison. They brought him back to film the 2008 trip and make this video about their organization. One of the stipulations of the scholarship was that the scholar was not allowed to miss a semester of college. Andrew faced a dilemma when he was fortunate to get the opportunity to work on the set of Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Bastards later that year in 2008. But that meant missing well over a semester at UW-Madison and losing the scholarship. Andrew discussed this with Andy during the making of this video at the 2008 retreat, and Andy was kind enough to make the exception to allow Andrew to go back to school with the scholarship if he wanted after the experience working for Tarantino. But Andy said that after Andrew left school and had that experience, he guaranteed that Andrew would not go back to school, and that he would instead move to Los Angeles to pursue filmmaking. Andy was 100% right. A couple months later, Andy McKelvey died in New York City at the age 74 on November 27, 2008 of pancreatic cancer. Both Andy and Christine are important influences on Andrew’s life, and he is deeply and forever grateful to them.
From Curfew to Before I Disappear (2014)
This is sort of a “making of” for Before I Disappear, a feature film adapted from the Academy Award®-winning short film Curfew. Both films were written, directed by, and star Shawn Christensen. Andrew was a producer on the short and an editor on the feature, and directed & edited this short documentary that was originally intended to be used as a Kickstarter fundraising video which was later abandoned (as the crowdfunding was eventually deemed not necessary) and this featurette was therefore never released. Guys, if you happen to see this, please don’t sue Andrew.
Before I Disappear – Wrap Party & Bloopers (2014)
Originally shown at the Before I Disappear wrap party, but never publicly released. Again guys, don’t sue Andrew. It’s all good fun.
Cenk’s MSNBC Reel (2011)
Cenk had Andrew edit together this reel of clips from MSNBC footage back when Cenk still cared about trying to stay on MSNBC. This has never been released.
Early What The Flick?! Promos
A series of short promos Andrew made early on for What The Flick?!, an online movie review show Andrew co-created with Cenk Uygur and The Young Turks in 2010, featuring Ben Mankiewicz, Christy Lemire, Alonso Duralde, Matt Atchity, and more…
Rockstar Retreat – Music Video (2009)
The infamous music video for the hit single Rockstar Retreat off the red hot platinum album “Buttsteak Sandwich” by none other than… yes, you guessed it… The legendary music duo DOUBLES AS A FRISBEE! Jesus Christ himself watched it and said “This is the worst and most horrifyingly bad music video ever made in both the history of music videos and of life on this planet. Oh dear heavenly Father, why does this exist!?”* Proudly drunkenly directed by Andrew while attending UW-Madison in that one year before he dropped out to go pursue the whole “film thing.”